The act of violence has a tremendous effect on children, in
particular when the child’s parent is incarcerated. As a young child, my cousin witnessed his
father being handcuffed and placed into a police car. His father was sentenced to 20 years and was
released just after my cousin turned 26.
Growing up, my cousin had lots of questions about where his father was
and when he was coming home. My family
provided support to him and his mom, making sure they had the essentials they
needed to get by. I remember as we got older,
my cousin struggled with how to talk to others about his dad. His mom used the support of school counselors,
but it seem to fail and my cousin began to “act out” in school. Unfortunately as an adult, my cousin followed
his father’s footsteps in ended up incarcerated and later murdered.
Children of incarcerated parents don’t have a lot of
resources, particularly when the incarcerated parent is the child’s
mother. These children are in desperate
need of how to deal with the situation from a personal and social point of
view. In China, it is estimated that
there are 600,000 children with incarcerated parents. China also has a difficult time with
providing resources for families; however, there are some non-governmental organizations
that started basic foster care and education for children of incarcerated parents. My hope is that we take a deeper look at what
is happening to children of incarcerated parents so we may be able to keep
those children from going down the road my cousin went down.
Dalhia, all acts of violence always has an affect on the extended family. Your cousin was fortunate to have the support of your family. I am sure your cousin could of benefited from more than the school counselor, but sometimes people do not have the money or knowledge of who else to call. In my center, I have many grandparents who are raising their grandchildren because of both parents being incarcerated. I agree with you on how children in these situations need more support on personal and social issues when others ask about their parents.
ReplyDeleteJill
Dalhia, the story you shared of your cousin really hit home with me. I was raised by my grandmother because my mother was in and out of prison most of my childhood. I can't explain the pain I felt of seeing other children with their mother and not being able to be with mind. As an adult I use my mother's mistakes to motivate me to be a better mother and teacher. I realize from my own experiences how important it is to reach out to the children in your class because you never know what that child is going through if you don't!
DeleteThank you for sharing your story, it really hurts me to read about such instances. This is a very serious issue that affects more than just the child. The whole family is put into stress due to one of the family members being incarcerated. I believe this is also connected to the issue of dead-beat dads, and the high rate of single-mothers in the U.S. I myself, coming from a family of 5, with my single mother, can vouch for the similar challenges ( that your cousin had) I faced in elementary and middle school when it came to Father's day and such. It became difficult at times to explain my situation to teachers at school who seemed to be apathetic to my strange situation (unmarried mother with 5 children). I believe bringing awareness programs to school about these sensitive issues could prevent having more children in such uncomfortable situations as I myself had to experience.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. Every year I have a handful of children that either one or both of their parents are incarcerated. They are being raised by other family members such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, whoever can take them in. It not only affects the children but everyone involved. It always makes me sad to hear boys in my class say they want to be like their dad and be in jail. They don't know any better and only know that's where their dad is.
ReplyDeleteThere was a young boy who played on my son's baseball and football team last year. His mother had abandoned him and his father was incarcerated. It was clear that the young man struggled with anger and trust issues. The coaches never gave up on him when he would lash out. His aunt didn't return him to the program this year due to behavioral problems at school, but we're prayerful that he will be back in the spring as we continue to inquire on his progress. Thanks for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story. The situation with one or both parents being in jail is very bad in the area where I live. The head start program use to have special days that moms would come to school and separate days for days to come to school. There would be so many children without a parent at school. The children without a parent would be sad and cry. This was very stressful on the child and the teachers. The Head Start program decided to stop having mother/father days. The decided it would be best to have a family day. For the family day, the child could bring any relative they wanted to invite.
ReplyDelete