Chidren of Incarcerated Parents

The act of violence has a tremendous effect on children, in particular when the child’s parent is incarcerated.  As a young child, my cousin witnessed his father being handcuffed and placed into a police car.  His father was sentenced to 20 years and was released just after my cousin turned 26.  Growing up, my cousin had lots of questions about where his father was and when he was coming home.  My family provided support to him and his mom, making sure they had the essentials they needed to get by.  I remember as we got older, my cousin struggled with how to talk to others about his dad.  His mom used the support of school counselors, but it seem to fail and my cousin began to “act out” in school.  Unfortunately as an adult, my cousin followed his father’s footsteps in ended up incarcerated and later murdered. 

Children of incarcerated parents don’t have a lot of resources, particularly when the incarcerated parent is the child’s mother.  These children are in desperate need of how to deal with the situation from a personal and social point of view.  In China, it is estimated that there are 600,000 children with incarcerated parents.  China also has a difficult time with providing resources for families; however, there are some non-governmental organizations that started basic foster care and education for children of incarcerated parents.  My hope is that we take a deeper look at what is happening to children of incarcerated parents so we may be able to keep those children from going down the road my cousin went down.

 

Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression often goes undetected; yet postpartum effects 1 in 7 women. My sister’s postpartum depression went undetected until it became so severe our family had to develop a plan to prevent her from suicide attempts.  When I think back to when my nephew was born, there was so many signs that we missed.  My sister lived with my mom and my nephew’s father lived out of state.  My mother always made sure my nephew was feed and diaper was changed, but we all thought it was just my mother smothering her new grandchild.  When my sister sent her 8 week son out of state with his dad, we couldn’t understand how a new mother would send her newborn out of state.  I remember being upset, I remember looking at my sister with confusion as she told me her son needed his dad more than he needed her.  We never asked her how she felt about her son or if she was happy, I now know my sister was crying out for help and we all missed the signs.

In the UK, postpartum depression is the leading cause of maternal suicide. Just like mothers in the US, mothers in the UK report the feeling of lack of social and emotional support and/or martial unhappiness as some reasons for unhappiness.  In the contrast with the US, mothers in the UK who are diagnosed with postpartum depression are not prescribed any antidepressants and instead are encourage to seek therapy.

The information I have learned about postpartum depression increases my desire to see more done in terms of screening.   I think as early childhood professionals, it’s important that we check on the mother’s well-being during the child’s first year of life.  The best way to do this is checking in during home visits and simply asking the mother how she’s doing.  It is critical to understand signs and have resources available for a mom who is struggling. 

Childbirth in My Life and All Around the World

People always told me that your second child comes faster than your first child and my son proved them right.  My first son was 3 weeks early.  I recall the morning I began labor and I kept trying to breathe through it because I figured it was another bout of Braxton Hicks.  By the time I got to work, I realized that something else was going on.  One of my employees drove me to the hospital and I was quickly admitted.  I was so afraid of pain during my first pregnancy that I went in to the hospital with the mindset of getting an epidural as soon as the pain was bad.  Throughout my second pregnancy, I decided that I was going to try and make it through without the epidural.  Well that didn’t happen!  As soon as the nurse told me it was my last opportunity to get the epidural, I jumped right on it.  A couple of hours later, my son was ready to make his appearance; however, the doctor wasn’t there yet.  The nurses encouraged me to try not to push and hold on until the doctor came into the room.  After waiting for what seem like eternity, the doctor finally arrived and my son made his entrance.

I would say that both of my deliveries were pretty common deliveries in America.  I choose to talk about the birth of my second son because I remember having discussions with several different people about giving “natural” birth.   I remember wanted to fill like I could accomplish what other women did before me.  But when it all came down to it, I had to do what was best for me and what allowed me to mentally bring a child into the world.  Epidurals are not as uncommon as I once believed, as matter of fact, I found Australia was similar to the United States, with a lot women delivering babies at hospitals and receiving epidurals.